Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The Death of Chivalry

So a Facebook friend, of the female persuasion, shared a article about chivalry. The article was another writing of men no longer being chivalrous. I read the full article and let it sink in. This idea that chivalry is dead. No man is opening doors. No man is paying for dates. No man is buying flowers. So on and So on. Men need to step their games up. Where are all the "good" guys at? Right? We need to accept that chivalry is dead.
Here's my thing. Chivalry isn't dead. Is it what it use to be? No. As a man, I feel a bit put down by the notion that my version of chivalry isn't equivalent to the Old-School 16th century knight in shining armor. There's nothing wrong with expectations, and men should be gentlemanly when possible. There are some things that should be expected, but those are generally in confrontational moments, such as domestic abuse and such.
However. the presentation of the old school gentleman, even of 50 years ago, is unrealistic to the modern man. We're not living in the times of of previous generations. If you compare how many women were trying to have careers now compared to 50 years ago, that would say a lot. How was men valued then compared to now?
I want to be clear. I do NOT want to change the modern woman. I love this woman. She can be feminist, fierce, and independent. I would love her for it, but those qualities mean men have to adjust to these new women. Men can't strive to be the same strong manly guy. Those guys aren't respect like they were in their times.
The idea of chivalry is nice. The idea of a modern woman forces men to make subconscious changes to the idea of being men and therefore being chivalrous.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Thinking Positive

An issue came up with work that made me realize that I think very negatively. If I was going to tell a lovely lady how great of guy I am(in theory), I precede the flattering stuff with negative stuff to temper expectations. As I think through my next steps with the customer, I start  to think about how my comments, actions, and general energy. I realize that I beat myself a lot.
I'm sure that everyone goes through the negative stints. I'm not trying make my life seem awful, because it's not. I have this friend. A female. We were discussing romance and accessing each other. She made an interest and perplexing, which I thought at the time, observation about me. She asked me,"Are you a masochist?" The answer to that question remains the same(NO!). The idea baffled me. Now that I get it, I'm thinking about how I think  about things. It's not just romance and all that mushy stuff. Bleh! and Eh! This isn't The Notebook.
A week or so ago, there was this Facebook trend among my "Facebook friends" going(I'm so McKeesport...). Generally, I would have been one of those people ignoring it or saying"WTF" to it. Surprisingly, I got my few posts in the mix. Anyone who knows about the area knows how tough and depressing the area has become. Some McKeesport natives even had their "I'm so NOT McKeesport" quips in. For once, I wasn't thinking about the abandoned houses and gunfire rather than summer lunches and the old hangout spots. Good times.
For once, I was able to take a step back an appreciate actual good times in "Da Hood".  I realize how great my people(friends and family)  are. I actually recognize the love and support even when people are yelling at each other. We support each other.
So with being said, I need to make a promise to myself. No more negativity. No more trying to couch good days, smiles, and general happy moments or expectations.