Occasionally, the thought crosses my mind,” Am I valuable?” Do I make a difference? It’s not a suicidal thought. It’s not a thought where I want to kill myself, because I’m miserable and suffering. It’s “a wonderful life” thought. You know the movie. If I wasn’t born, then… Would everyone’s live be different? Would their lives be BETTER? I don’t know that there is a legit answer to that thought process.
Here’s the answer that I tell myself: Am I valuable? Yes. I am valuable, because I am me. I’m a lot of things. I bring a lot to the table. Sometimes, It’s a physical presence. Sometimes, It’s mental equity. Sometimes, I’m valuable, because I could help an old lady cross the street. Sometimes, a friend needs a different perspective on his/her relationship to make the best decision.
There’s something that my mom like to implore on me when she thinks that I don’t listen to her. She likes to talk about how she has 23 years of more experience living than I do. I find myself appreciating that, but I also must remind her that I’m not living her life. We’re different people with different experiences.
I think four siblings. We’re all different. We do different things. We gravitate in different circles. When we come together, you see those differences, but you also see similarities. Those similarities aren’t just a product of parents, but they are a product of us learning from each other and exchanging ideas, information, and knowledge with each other.
Sometimes, it’s easy to forget ourselves. It’s easy to get caught up in what other’s bring to you. You forget that you bring something to the table as well. Your mere presence changes the dynamics in the room. Even the fly on the wall leaves a mark.
