The Competitor

I grew up in competition. I play sports all year.  As a kid, I was playing organized sports. It was football, baseball, and basketball. One would lead into the other. I was playing your typical childhood games of tag, kickball, and free-for-all( or freefrog). I was even playing games like chess against my mom and other adults. I have stories of being up through the night playing poker with friends for five dollars. I was a competitor, that competitor is still in me, and I lost more than I care to share. It was always fun. It was always respectful. There was always something “other” keeping me in that space. I wasn’t someone who took pride in beating someone else.

I grew up on comparing dick sizes and how many girls we fucked. I grew up on the idea of making money at all cost. We’d compared who had the most expensive shoes and jewelry. We were admiring the kids who had the newest Jordan shoes and making fun of the kids with dirty and generic clothes.

What happened is that there were times where I would win. There were times where I’d lose. I’m thinking about me being that competitor. I was making ever effort to destroy someone else in competition. I would take pride in watching other kids getting yelled at by coaches, because I beat him in competition. I never wanted to be the kid with the dirty clothes

 As a man approaching his mid-30s, I’m thinking about competition. I’m thinking about watching debates that people are having about hip hop being horrible for society.  In these debates, no one ever says that these artists are in constant competition with each other. It’s about what it glorifies or marginalizes.

We live in a world where there is a three year campaign taking a two scandals. There was no precedent.  The reality is that this is competition. It’s as much strategy as it is about what is right and wrong. People are more interested in winning than they’re about the right and wrong. We have a three year email scandal that is followed by a three plus year Russia Interference scandal.

What is getting lost in all of it? Nothing is really getting done. Every statistic relevant to the economy has shown the same trajectory since 2010. As we go further, we continue to push “winning” over